A Bitter-Sweet Turning Point

Today is my last day of work with BGC. I have been here for almost two years as a Recruitment Consultant. There have been ups and downs, and I must say, I have grown tremendously. From being a fresh graduate with unrealistic hopes of the future and childish overconfidence, this company has molded me to be mature, understand my limits, yet challenging myself to continuously push myself to the limit and believe in myself that I can achieve more than I think I can. I have learnt to be down-to- earth yet still have crazy dreams with realistic plans to achieve them. Colleagues became life-long friends, and I realized I became more attached to the company than I ever expected to be. Before I joined the organization, a job was just a job. Colleagues were just people I meet every day at work. In this company, colleagues became my second family. The company became my second home.

Thus, believe me when I say, my decision to resign hasn't been easy to make.

My farewell gifts from all my lovely colleagues. You all mean so much to me and I'm so touched by the sweet gestures. I never knew that I have played such a significant part in so many people's lives. From the bottom of my heart I would sincerely like to thank each and every one of you. I will miss you all!!!

For the past week, things have been… different. 

I started seeing things from a different light. When you’re no longer weighed down by the everyday stress of your work, work becomes more enjoyable. No longer did I reluctantly drag myself out of bed like I used to do every morning. Instead, for the past week I found myself literally almost jumping out of bed, excited to start the day, knowing that with each day I go to work, I am just that one more step closer to what I wanted to achieve. Every small task I completed seemed like a huge accomplishment, and without the mess and stress from everyday bullshit, I could properly relish in the immense self-satisfaction I gained. I realized this is something I can learn in my next job: In the midst of your busy schedule, menial tasks, and all the daily shit you face at work, never forget your achievements, and never forget to give yourself a pat on the back for every small accomplishment.  If you are able to take control of your stress and manage it well, you will be able to find work more satisfying and more enjoyable. If you focus on the things you want to achieve and believe in your ability to achieve it, you will be motivated to jump out of bed every morning, anxious to start the day.

I gave myself this one final task to complete before I leave the company: To sign a final Terms of Placement Contract with one of the largest MNC corporations in the world, to make them my client, even if it is for just one day. I wanted to be the first consultant in the company to penetrate into an industry that the company has never dealt with before. I wanted to be the one to make a breakthrough into uncharted waters. To have one more major client to add to my list of clients I had gained. Call me hao lian, but I believe that the winner doesn't shy away from claiming recognition when recognition is due.

(Unfortunately, I did not manage to receive the contract in my inbox, due to client's internal management changes. But at least I know I tried my best, and I know my colleague will take over this matter and resolve it well. The fight goes on!)

The past week has been filled with memorable milestones: The moment the client gave the green light on the quotes. The moment I completed the contract. The moment I emailed it over. The moment the client signed it (but not e-mailed to me). With every task I completed, my self-satisfaction and happiness at my job grew. I started having second thoughts about leaving the company. Why had I never felt this happy at work before? Why was I only feeling it now, when I was about to leave? Was only happy because I knew I was leaving, or was I genuinely happy at my job?

I gave it a thought further, why did I decide to resign in the first place? I couldn't remember. The self-satisfaction from being able to do what I did, to know that in the midst of my departure, I was still contributing to the company and helping the company to achieve yet another milestone to penetrate into a new industry, it was overwhelming. Why did I want to leave, if I could see my own efforts become fruitful and still able to contribute to the organization?

Ultimately, I realized, I left for career progression, greener pastures, and for a change of environment. Yes, the people were nice, but I wanted a place where I felt more valued as an employee. I wanted a organisation that had more people coming than going, not the other way round. I wanted a place where my efforts were more recognised, and remuneration was fair. To work on something bigger and to achieve something better. To work with different people and to gain experience and to expand my network. 

I realized that after all this while, recruitment is my calling. I realized it isn't only about the money. It is also about the sense of achievement and satisfaction I gain from bringing in clients, and from helping candidates in their job search. What makes me happy at work? Self-satisfaction in achieving goals I have never achieved before.

For now, I shall take a break, and when I’m back, I will be better and stronger.

Cheers and for both your support and your shortfalls, I thank you BGC, for it has molded me to become a more mature, stronger, and more confident person.