Even A Little Bit of Happiness Can Emanate

Last Friday, as I took the escalator to exit the train station on my commute to work, I noticed something amiss.

She was not there.

The one who usually stood at the escalator of the train station exit, greeting the (gloomy) morning work crowd as we went about our daily morning grind. She was the one who was always greeting each and every commuter "Good Morning!" with the brightest voice, even though most of the time, her greetings were returned with expressionless faces. The one who, despite the overwhelming vibes of Monday blues emitting from everyone else, would refuse to be affected and instead fought it by greeting with a chirpy "Good morning! Have a happy and great week ahead!" every Monday morning, and continued her same happy cheerful self throughout the entire week, her overflowing happiness never ceasing, and giving the perfect ending by Friday with "TGIF! Happy Friday and enjoy your weekend ahead!"

The one who, for most of us who are too busy bustling around to clock in yet another 10-12 hours at the office, have taken for granted as yet another paid service that are not worth our second glance.

The same as how we forget 5 seconds later about the friendly middle aged lady who greets us courteously as we purchase our over-priced pastries at the European-styled bakery (which is conveniently placed right outside the office building) because we'd rather pay for convenience than take the time for the cheaper alternative of home-made breakfast.

Or, the cashier whom we give a slight scowl because she was taking slightly longer than usual during peak lunch hours. 

Instead, the usual lady usher was replaced by an unfamiliar face who stood there dutifully waving her baton ushering us in the correct direction. This unfamiliar face, though did not show the slightest emotion on her face (except for expressionless boredom), did her job. She ensured the crowed moved. She ensured there was no human jam.

But, that was pretty much it.

I realised I missed the chirpy lady. I missed having her telling us commuters to "Watch your step while using your phone on the escalator," and "Please move to the left to make way!" and "Have a good day!" in her happiest voice, never ever showing the slightest hint of being affected by the drudgery of the morning crowd.

I never consciously thought about it, but I think it is thanks to her that on some days, on bad mornings when I trudging to work while thinking "I wished I could call in sick", she makes the morning a little more bearable because if she can be happy, why can't we?

She is an example of how the smallest gestures can make a difference.

She has taught me a lesson, and I believe it is one that all of us can learn: Despite the overwhelming unhappiness all around us, even our little bit of happiness can emanate and make the people around us feel better, and that makes us feel better too.

The next time I see her, I'll be sure to greet her back.

I'm sure she would like that. 

Recap of 2014, 2015's Resolutions.

My blog entries are beginning to feel like an annual pilgrimage, something that only happens once a year in January when everyone's melancholy and deep and be like "oh, it's the beginning of a new year, so here's a recap of how excellent/horrible I fared last year, but it doesn't matter 'cause this year is gonna be sooooo much better," but then by March reality kicks in and we're right back to our comfort zone and we keep putting things off the things we resolved we would do and before we know it, the following year looms ahead and the same cycle repeats itself.

2014 was...

Shallow.

I torrented lots of movies and TV series. Spent hours scrolling through my phone like it was a habitual reflex. Took lots of selfies. Accumulated likes on Facebook. Drifted through my job as though my career would build itself. I got complacent, I got careless.

I stopped writing. I got lazy. I gave up on cultivating myself. My literature shifted from non-fiction books to Dilbert comics and gossip confession webpages.

My usual work week consisted of envisioning the weekend ahead and taking the liberty of switching into TGIF mode as early as Thursday morning.

On the bright side...

I learnt more about my downfalls. In the midst of my shallowness, I saw a reflection of who I didn't want to be.

There were ups and downs in my relationship with the boyfriend. We both grew together through the relationship. We believed in each other's abilities, pushed each other to exceed expectations, and supported each other through hard times. We shared constructive criticism, learnt more about our shortfalls, and together we strived to be better.

Remember Rachel's Guidelines to Living 2014? That was when 2013 had just ended and 2014 had just started. 2013 had been my first year as an working adult, and it was mostly spent navigating through the whole jungle of corporate mess, trying to find a place where I could fit. After going through the turbulence that was 2013, I thought I had finally gotten grasp of how the working world worked. Ahead of me was this apparent huuuuuge corporate world and abundant career opportunities awaiting for me, and I was like a hungry youth, anticipating more.

After the entire ordeal of 2013 (phew!) I compiled myself a Guide To Living and resolved to stick to it, in the hopes of making 2014 a better and more manageable year.

Did I manage to stick to it? More or less. Sure, there were some things I didn't manage to adhere to such as "Exercise once a month" and "Always forgive" (and those are things I will continue to strive to achieve), but for the most part I think Rachel's Guidelines to Living 2014 really did do me some good.

In a nutshell,

It seems like 2014 was pretty an uneventful year, where I got complacent and lazy. However, it was also a period where I tried instilling some good values in myself by following Rachel's Guidelines to Living 2014, and I think I did satisfactorily in that department. So that's a win. In the mean time, I am also glad that 2014 being uneventful had allowed me to really reflect on myself and get to know myself better, including my shortfalls and my strengths.

As for 2015...

In 2013, I was an immature fighter, young and feisty and anxious to prove herself and to find a place in the corporate society. In 2014, I had learnt from the good and bad experiences and put up guidelines for myself, but I allowed myself to become complacent and boring, because I thought being mature was enough.

Combining the energy I had from 2013 and the maturity I developed in 2014, I will become a better person holistically. I will fight harder. I will write more. I will be less self absorbed. I will read more real books. I will waste less time. I will make improvements in my career. I will not take shortcuts. I will be honest to myself.

I will be happier.