Make Changes in the Process.

I know I've been all about reading lately, and pardon me on this one, but what can I say? I love reading.

Seeing that it's a Sunday night and for some of you, Monday blues is already kicking in.

Here's a remedy that might hopefully alleviate your Monday blues symptoms, even if it were by a little.

I actually found this one out purely by accident.

It came about some days back, one morning when the alarm was blaring in my ear and I wished and wished with all my might that I could have another 20 more minutes of snooze time (I am perfectly aware that to be happy is to be disciplined, and being disciplined means NOT hitting the snooze button, but I guess snoozing is just one of the bad habits that I'll have to live with for a while, while I think of an effective way to kick it) but I knew that wasn't going to happen, so I reluctantly got out of bed (yet another bad habit of mine is not sticking to the bed time curfew that I give myself, hence the difficulty in getting out of bed in the morning. I'm still working on that), washed up and got dressed.

While getting dressed, my mind began to drift to the book that I had just purchased, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. I had just finished the first chapter the night before, and I couldn't wait till the next chapter.

I usually have a habit of reading in the train on my commute to work, and instantly I thought "oh boy, I can't wait to get on that train, so that I can continue my reading."

From that point on, my entire mood changed. Instead of dreading the morning, I actually looked forward to hopping on that train because it meant I could resume doing what I loved - reading. I enjoyed my ride to work, and I entered my office building in a much improved mood after that. It was at that point, I realised that I had found a remedy to an otherwise gloomy morning.

My point is, make the change you need to make the process enjoyable.

Try these simple steps: 1) Think of something you usually dread doing, like a chore or task. 2) Think of something enjoyable that you can do during your journey/process of completing it. 3) Make it a habit, so that it becomes something you look forward to doing.

You may not be able to avoid a particular task or chore, but by adding an element of what you enjoy into it, you are definitely able to change your own attitude towards the process of doing it.

P/S: The Power of Habit is a really, really awesome book. I'm still halfway through it, but I'm already inspired by it (for instance, I could develop habits that make myself happy). I'll be sure to share more about it in my upcoming posts! :D

Don't Worry, be Happy.

I've mentioned before in one of my previous posts about how much benefits can be reaped from the habit of reading. I can never emphasise it enough.

My morning never feels complete unless I'm reading something on my commute to work. Sure, the ride was only 10 minutes, but that 10 minutes I spent reading made all the difference. I stepped into the office feeling like my morning had already been productive, even before I started doing any actual work. On the contrary, if I used the time to play games on my phone instead, I'd end up walking into the office feeling unfulfilled and empty.

But I digress.

So I recently purchased a new e-book, The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell. Hence recently, my morning train rides had been filled with several pages of happiness "lessons", and it is my pleasure today to pass them down to you.

The book seemed pretty boring at first, but then I came to Chapter 5: Fatigue.

It immediately reminded me of something my mother used to say to me when I was younger: "Don't worry, be happy."

A quote that all of us have heard too often, so that it has become more like a meaningless saying, something we tell our peers when they're feeling down, as though it were a greeting of "Good Morning" that you use to others without really having the meaning to actually wish their morning well.

It wasn't until I read this particular chapter by Russell, that I had, for the first time in my life, contemplated so deeply about this very, very common saying.

This applies especially to us, the group of young working adults, working extremely hard each day, using all the youthful energy in us to earn a living while we're still young and fast and capable.

Building careers don't come easy, and each job has it's own worries. But some of us worry way too much, to the point of being fatigued. This fatigue causes us to lose our momentum and causes us to be unhappy when there is nothing that can be done.

This is not to say that we should let go of our responsibilities. When there is work to be done, it is our full responsibility to do it and do it excellently. When it is time for the problem to be solved, it is our responsibility to solve it to the best of our abilities, if not exceeding it.

However, what good would it do to bring your problems to bed? What good would it do for you to toss and turn around at night, wearing yourself out with unnecessary worry when you should be using that time to get a good rest so that you are able to be recharged again the next morning to tackle said problems? Worrying about it at the wrong times is useless because it causes mind fatigue and you wake up the next morning feeling like a zombie and shit, that problem remains unsolved. Dammit.

Some people allow their worries to overwhelm them and that's when they get burnt out and become unhappy.

A simple but very logical sentence that may sound overused, but true: Don't worry (about things at the time when they should not be worried about), be happy.

Go to bed, don't worry, think of happy thoughts, get the rest you need, and continue fighting tomorrow.

Go Out and Do Something.

As I'm typing this post, it's 11am on a Sunday morning and I'm laying on my hammock, almost half asleep with the sea breeze blowing in my hair while my radio app is playing indie music and the boyfriend is cooking oden (a kind of Japanese hot pot) with all my favourite foods in it. 

As crazy as the idea would seem, I thank my boyfriend for the impromptu idea of "hey, would you like to go to the beach tomorrow morning and cook ourselves a nice lunch? I'll even bring a hammock!"

And I sure am glad I said yes. 

Sure, when the alarm woke me up at 9am, I wished I could slam on the snooze button and sleep in till noon. Sure, when we were packing for the trip, I wished I could call the whole thing off and just have brunch at a nice lovely restaurant like everybody else. 

But you know what? I'm glad I did this. 

Life doesn't get any better than days like this. 

Go out and do something. Experience new stuff. You'll feel happier and you'll thank yourself for not allowing yourself to be a slave of the usual weekend ritual. The hassle is worth it. 

Have a Chirpy Morning!

It's Monday morning.

Again. 

The weekend had come and gone, just a little too quickly. The alarm blares at you and you wished you could tap on the snooze button just one more time but you had already had your entire snooze ritual come and gone, dues has been paid for the "I promise, it's the final 5 minutes on top of the usual snooze ritual I have, and I will pay it back by skipping my primer step in my makeup regime, and go straight to foundation", and you had better get your lazy ass out of bed before you run late for work.

You trudge reluctantly to the bathroom and get showered and dressed, and then on your commute to work, you check into Facebook, only to see an entire wall bemoaning Monday Blues, and you wonder is there any other thing on earth that would make people so united in a single opinion at a single time. 

Wouldn't it be nice if you woke up feeling chirpy on a Monday morning? Wouldn't it be motivating to see people around you smiling for no apparent reason, and that makes your morning so much better that you can't help but smile as well, which in turns brings happiness to a whole other lot of people? Am I being delusional for even thinking of the possibility of that ever happening? 

People, it's time for a change.

Some Monday mornings, I find myself literally skipping off to work and smiling to myself in the train. How'd I do it? 

Here's my guide on How to be Chirpy on a Monday Morning:

1. Prepare your stuff the night before. Do a final check on your to-do list, make sure all your necessary stuff is in your bag so you don't have to grab them in a hurry the next morning, and hang out the outfit you intend wear the next day.

2. I used to wake up to the default iPhone alarm ringtone, which goes something like: "BLARE!! BLARE!! BLARE!!" My suggestion? Invest in a sleeping/alarm app which provides nice ringtones or allow you to pick your own, better if it features a gradual increase in volume. You might want to choose a soothing melody or a nature ringtone, such as chirping birds or pattering of rain. As for me, I picked Cloud Atlas' Sextet. It really gives a soothing feeling as it gently wakes me up every morning. 

3. Wake up feeling thankful you're awake. Some people go to bed and never wake up. Ever.

4. Be thankful you have a job to go to. When I was jobless, I used to wake up on a Monday morning thinking, "I wished I had a job to wake up to." 

5. Listen to your favorite music on your commute to work. Nothing like nice music to brighten your your day.

6. Think of good and happy stuff. For example, I think of how awesome today is gonna be because of my awesomeness and my hard work and perseverance and productivity. I also think of how much I love my boyfriend and how much he loves me and how lucky we are to be together.

7. Do some light reading on your way to work. Think articles, Facebook shares (not the gossipy kind), or even a bible verse, if that's your thing. It's always nice to have your brain slightly worked up by inputting stuff into it so that by the time you arrive at the office, your brain is activated ready to go.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will finally wake up to chirpy Monday mornings.

On The Worst Days Ever.

It was 11pm and I had just left the office. I was in the cab on the way home thinking "Fuck this shit, this has been one of the worst days ever and I'm not even glad it's over." It was like Murphy's Law was all set out to be against me. I was mad at myself for not having a good day, and then getting madder at myself for being mad at myself in the first place.  It was a vicious cycle that didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon.

It was already 11pm. I was arriving home soon. I didn't want to have felt upset and angry for the entire day, and then go to bed feeling the same.

Right there, I knew I had a choice. I could spend the next 30 minutes sulking till I begrudgingly went to bed with a feeling of self loathing and bemoaning the dullness of the next morning where the same cycle would probably repeat itself until I died of unhappiness overload. Or, I could at least walk through my front door with a smile plastered on my face. At least, I thought, even when the entire day had sucked, I still wanted that chance of ending it on a happy note.

This is something you're definitely going to hear me saying this a whole lot: To be happy, be thankful for the things you have, and for the things to come. 

I reminded myself of all the reasons to be happy. I have a boyfriend who loves me. I have an awesome job with a bright career. I have loads of untapped potential inside me, just waiting for the right time to manifest itself. I have great friends, great colleagues, and a family that loves me. I have food on my table, a roof over my head, and money in my bank account. I can afford my needs and my wants. I'm in a cab, on my way home to a hot shower, and a comfy bed in a cozy air conditioned bedroom. 

Within 3 minutes, I turned my entire mood around from being painfully depressed to being happy and content. I paid the cab driver, and stepped out of the cab with a smile on my face.

Happiness is a choice. 

It's Just Money.

It happens. You drop a fifty dollar note on the streets and don't realize it till you get home. You missed your flight and had to book a new one that set u a few hundred bucks back. Or you accidentally made an international phone call, and your phone bill of the month is now $150 instead of $50. Or, you purchased expensive electronic gadget just to find that a week later, the novelty has wore off and it's now collecting dust in the pile of unused gadgets which include two hard disks, a Tamagotchi, a PSP, an iPad, an iMac, a MacBook, and an iPod, because, really, what can you not do nowadays with a single iPhone? 

What would u do? Kick yourself hard in the ass for allowing yourself to waste that kind of money? 

My parents were the type who always made a big fuss about how "wasteful" it was when accidents occurred and how much money could have been saved if said accident didn't happen. Growing up, I used to give myself a hard time when stuff like that happened too. 

Now, I am not trying to advocate an extravagant and reckless lifestyle (I personally encourage the habit of saving) but you know what? 

Why cry over spilled milk?

Rachel's to Guidelines to Happiness: If you lose something, remember that the payment is (almost) always worth the lesson learnt

Just learn from your mistakes, be thankful you didn't lose more than you did, and remind yourself to be more careful in the future. 

It's just money. Losing it is painful, but happiness is yours to control. 

Do you allow the circumstance to affect you? Or do you choose to remain happy? 

Just remember: your next paycheck is just another 30 days away. 

Read!

It's a beautiful rainy Sunday morning (and what better time to curl up in bed listening to the rain!), and I figured its been a long time since the last book I've read, so I made a new ebook purchase: The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell. I don't know about you, but I find reading very inspiring and educational. Reading is a pleasure and I always learn something new from each new read. Nothing like a good stroll down the aisles of a bookstore, browsing books after books after books *oh, so heavenly*

I read from everywhere. Fiction books, non fiction books, websites, online articles, news and magazines. 

If you're not in the habit of reading, I suggest to take it up! I promise you'll enjoy it. Here are some suggestions on how to kick start your reading habit: 

1. I swear by Flipboard. Download it on your phone/tablet, and then subscribe to your favorite daily. I usually read an article or two from there on my commute to work each morning. 

2. Download ebooks to listen to if you find it inconvenient to read a physical book (eg, you're driving) 

3. Sign up with Kobo, if reading ebooks is more your thing than a physical book. 

4. Instead of using dollar notes or scraps or old receipts, invest in a pretty book mark. So what if it set you $20 back? It's gonna be your reading companion for a very long time. My current favorite bookmark is a birthday gift from a best friend: a bronze engraved bookmark with cute charms dangling on it. 

Thank you Yokie. You know exactly what I want. :)

Still don't know where to start? 

Here are a few good reads that I've enjoyed and loved: 

Fiction: Dorothy Koomson, Nicholas Sparks, L.M. Montgomery, Roald Dahl

Non-fiction: Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, Justice by Michael Sandel, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. 

Sites: Elite Daily, Life Hacker, Thought Catalogue, The Happiness Project, TidyMom

(Bonus: Pursuit of Happyness is an awesome movie. Go watch it) 

I hope your reading habit brings you as much happiness as it brings for me. 

Have a beautiful Sunday ahead! 

Setting up your very own Guidelines to Happiness

Taking the first step to happiness: Knowing what you need to be happy.

For me, year 2012 had been a life changer. A roller coaster ride like never before. It was the most impactful year in the 23 years of my life and it was the point of which everything around me changed. It felt like I was facing my quarter life crisis. Suddenly, I felt like I was hurtled into the vast unknown and I found myself struggling, coping, laughing, and crying. The end of a relationship. My graduation. My first job. My first step into society. My social circle changed. I met new people, older people. I gained new perspective and insight. My values were challenged. Life wasn't fair, neither was it easy.

I just wanted to be happy. Different people have different goals in life, different things that make them happy.

Identify what you need, and then give yourself guidelines. Stick to them, and remind yourself what it really means: to be happy.

Everyone's different, so I would suggest making your own list.

Just for reference, here's mine (I bolded those that I found to have a more significant direct impact on my well being and level of happiness):

• Today will be the best day ever
• You are what you eat 
• Increase fluid intake 
• There is something to learn from everyone 
• Do not put off what can be done in less than 3 minutes 
• Go to bed early 
• Procrastination is a sin 
• Smile 
• Forgive 
• Work hard, play hard 
• You are happy now, not later 
• Enjoy the process 
• Fluff up your living space 
• Failing is fun 
• Everything is an experience 
• If you lose something, remember that the payment is (almost) always worth the lesson learnt 
• If someone offends you, let him off - he probably had a bad day 
• Be the bigger person 
• Let them laugh - stick to your principles, do what you love, wear what you want, be yourself 

I would also suggest printing the list out and display it somewhere you would see everyday. For me, I display it in my office right beside my computer.

Don't beat yourself up though, when you occasional fail to adhere to them (I, for one, have been guilty of not going to bed early on most occasions, and I still procrastinate most of the time); you'll just make yourself even more miserable. Guidelines are there to guide you, not restrict you.

Give yourself time. The guidelines you give yourself may seem restrictive at first, but in time, you'll thank yourself for it. 

Why Happyness Talks?

In December of 2012, I was broke, jobless, and lonely. In an attempt to drown out the negatives and give a boost back to my otherwise "meaningless" life, I travelled to Taiwan. I was touring at one of the museums, when it started pouring. I rushed into a bookstore (one of my favourite places to be) for shelter from the rain. It was a nice and cozy little store, with a cafe beside it. I walked around a bit and chanced upon a book that changed my life.

The Happiness Project has taught me that:

1. Procrastination is a sin
2. If you want to be happy, do something fulfilling, even if it may seem like a chore at first
3. Despite being broke, jobless, and lonely, I still had many reasons to be happy.

Hence, this blog.

It is my hope that thorough this blog, I am able to share my thoughts and views on happiness, help others to be happy, and in turn be happy for being able to do so.

Thank you, Gretchen Rubin, for giving me the courage and inspiration to finally pick up what I have always wanted to do.

I hope this blog brings happiness to myself and everyone else who reads it.